Hi everyone, hope you had a great week because I did (inserts big grin)..
On today’s post I’m going to be sharing the 5 things I used to be insecure about. Yesterday I posted a rare photo of myself, showing my small bum bum and my long hair (I used to dislike long hair because it draws attention on me, so I thought) on my Instagram story to thank my wonderful followers for tapping the voting poll on an article I’m working on. Their votes really helped me to be sure of what I’m writing on.
Posting that photo on my Instagram story, some people asked me to mention the other things I’m insecure about and that prompted this article. I decided to share the things I used to be insecure about on my blog instead of posting it on Instagram. Here are the five things I used to be insecure about:
There was a time I used to think I’m not good enough to be friends with anyone or be in a relationship. I was always thinking about why anyone would want to be my friend or be in a relationship with me. My self esteem was so low, when I met a man that loved me, I was so scared and unhappy when I was supposed to be happy, asking myself why he would love me.I became so scared of love I sent a text message to break up with him. When he started calling to find out why I would send a message like that to him, I broke my sim and bought a new one.
I still regret that till today and I usually wonder what would have been if I had face my fears.
Relationship with people was so bad, I would move far from anyone who’s trying to get close.
I had to deal with these about two years ago, I’m not there yet but I’m in a place where I know not everyone who meets me wants to hurt me and I’m also learning to appreciate those who stayed with me despite my insecurities.
I love meeting people, I know there are many wonderful souls out there. Like the sister girls I met during my last trip.
Recently, I was talking with someone who I met not quite long and she said I liked attention.
I cringed inside when I heard that, I’m suppose to be remorse but I felt happy in a way because I used to be that girl who will not go out because I thought I’m not good enough, I don’t have nice clothes, I’m ugly and so many negative thoughts.
I got attention in a bad way while growing up, read my first blog post HERE
I preferred been alone with my books and thought than been with people. I became an introvert. Always shy and timid.
I disliked anyone noticing me either for good or bad.
I don’t like going out because I thought people would laugh at me because of the way I’m dressed. I just assumed when I’m out all people see is me , not in a good way. That was so absurd.
It took a while but I’m proud of me. I’m different from that timid girl that used to be ME.
I wouldn’t like attention for bad things, I like attention for good things. I want to be noticed for doing well in my career and every aspect of my life.
3. My body
Shout out to all the strangers that stopped me on the road to compliment my look. You never know who your compliments are helping to boost their confidence. Always compliment people.
I was molested as a kid and I just assumed there was something wrong with my body that’s why people will try to take advantage of me. I never liked my body. I thought my body was damaged and defiled. I blamed my body for a whole lot of things that happened to me. I used to hate it when people call me a fine girl. In my mind, I would be like if only you people know my body is damaged.
When social media start been everybody thing and you see lots of photoshopped and real banging body on the internet that made me so insecure about my body.
Until I realized how unrealistic social media is and how not to be insecure in things that aren’t even there.
Like I always say, there’s no way you know the love of God and not love yourself. Knowing God and getting closer to Him also made me realized I’m made in His image and there’s nothing made in God’s image that is not beautiful. I love God and God loves me. That made me realize I’m beautiful, my body is great. I might not have a big but or boobs but all the say I’m beautiful in and out. And my banging body should be my mind which is my greatest asset.
4. Other people’s opinions
I lived in the hostel while In school and I used to be that girl who will refuse to leave a room where people are when I’m suppose to be somewhere else because I thought once I’m out they will start talking about me. Yeah I was that foolish. I found out no matter who you are, people will always talk , it’s now up to me to filter what I take inside of me.
I was so insecure about what other people think about me that once I heard someone is not happy with me, I wouldn’t be happy, it was so bad I wouldn’t eat.
Recently someone that I used to look up to called me and started saying all sorts of things to me, her words were so hurtful I wanted to start crying.
When I left her, normal me would have started crying and would be so sad. I just took my phone, played some awesome songs and started singing along. I didn’t let what she thought of me get to me. I know I’m the only one who can decide what affects me and I decided her words ain’t going to bring me down or even affect me. That moment, my favorite quote became “happiness begins with ME”.
I was talking with a friend yesterday and he told me how some people I know were making jest of me because I have H pronunciation factor. I was just smiling and I told him “They are not the first people to, it’s not new”.
It’s amazing how much I have grown and learned to be secure with me. I don’t let anything or anyone that cannot add to my growth bother me.
5. My Past
I used to be so ashamed of my past, I thought my past defines me, with time I realized no matter what I have been through in life, MY PAST DO NOT DEFINE ME. I realized things that happened are part of life challenges, it’s now up to me to write the ending of my story.
Have you ever dealt with insecurity? Either in your relationship or life. How did you handle it? Please comment below, I would love to hear from you.
Ps: It’s Nigeria travel week and I have not been able to attend since they started because of work. I will be attending tomorrow’s hangout at Lekki Conservation Center. I’m so excited because I have been planning to explore LCC yaay. Bucket list marked. I will give you the details of the event on Monday. You can keep in touch via Instagram: Princess_busayo. Xoxo